Dysfunctionally Yours

Watch your mouth-especially when you’re talking to yourself.
This week, Brittany and Chris are talking about the power our words actually have: the shitty things we tell ourselves, the comments other people made years ago that we’re still carrying around, and the things we’ve said when we were hurt that we wish we could take back.
Where does negative self-talk come from? When does someone else’s opinion become part of our identity? And if one careless comment can stick with someone for decades… what can one genuinely kind one do?
We’re talking about the words that hurt, the ones that heal, breaking generational patterns, learning to give ourselves the same grace we give everyone else-and why Chris’s fitness watch apparently woke up and chose violence.
Oh, and Ache & Relief includes Scotland, the plague, and… Brittany went on a DATE?!
Yeah. We know. Chris was shocked too. 😂
Watch Your Mouth: The Power of Words — because not every thought deserves to become a belief, and not every word someone gave you deserves permanent residence in your head.
 
 
 
 

We had no topic.
Like…none.
So naturally, we talked for 45 minutes anyway.
This week is pure, unfiltered Dysfunctionally Yours: Brittany and Chris bounce from mansplaining long hair and whales disguised as frogs to Savannah Bananas, Jackie the eagle, ghosts, astrology slander, questionable TikTok algorithms, cicadas, moth migration, carrier pigeons, cinnamon rolls, and whatever the hell else wandered into the conversation.
There is no lesson. There is no central theme. We cannot promise personal growth.
It's basically what happens when you sit down with your friend before brunch and just start talking.
No topic. Just vibes.
Welcome to the chaos.

It’s my 45th birthday, so naturally Chris starts the episode by thinking I’m 46. Off to an excellent start.
To celebrate, we attempt 45 questions for 45 years—and, shockingly, do not make it through 45. We talk about what we’re too old to tolerate, the lives we thought we’d have, how our definitions of success have changed, what we’re still figuring out, and what we’re most proud to have built.
We also finally reveal the results of your listener polls, establish that Chris may someday be arrested over moldy strawberries, and confirm that 75% of you think I need to get over myself and buy AirPods.
Then, Ache & Relief moves to its new home at the end of the show. We talk about Perez Hilton, the internet’s reaction to someone in crisis, and why a person’s worst behavior doesn’t mean they deserve cruelty in their darkest moment.
And my birthday relief is a simple one: being thought of.
Forty-five years down. Still learning. Still Breathing. Still evolving. Still dysfunctional. And increasingly too old for everyone’s shit.
New episodes every Monday.

Some things have absolutely no business bothering us...
...and yet here we are.
This week we're embracing our petty side as we discuss the tiny, irrational things that somehow push us over the edge. From loud breathers and slow walkers to humidity, grocery stores, bad drivers, shopping carts, Amazon delivery windows, and why Tuesdays are objectively suspicious...
Nothing is safe.
It's ridiculous.It's relatable.And yes...someone gets sentenced to straight to jail.
Tell us:What's something that irrationally annoys you?

Why do otherwise intelligent people ignore obvious red flags?
This week Brittany and Chris dive into the psychology behind dysfunctional relationships, why loneliness can cloud judgment, the difference between red and green flags, and the lessons they've learned from their own dating experiences.
Along the way they somehow discuss chainsaw guy, porch geese, Colorado weather, emotional support cats, and why Chris believes Colorado deserves a class action lawsuit.
Because healing isn't always serious...sometimes it's hilarious.

Have you ever convinced yourself someone was mad at you...only to find out they were just tired?
Welcome to the stories our brains love to write.
This week we're talking about the lies anxiety, trauma, insecurity, and overthinking whisper into our ears:
• "They don't like me."• "I must have done something wrong."• "Everyone else has it figured out."• "If I fail, everyone will judge me."
We dive into why our brains fill in the blanks, how childhood experiences shape those thought patterns, and why feelings aren't always facts.
Sometimes the hardest conversation isn't with another person...
It's the one happening inside your own head.

Some weeks, you thrive. Other weeks, you survive. This week...we're surviving.
Chris is running on four minutes of sleep. I'm running on grief, caffeine, and the emotional support of pizza after my brother's angelversary. We had every intention of being productive, but instead we ended up doing what we do best- -having an honest conversation that somehow turned into debates about shopping carts, anime, Sabrina Carpenter, birds, ADHD, pet peeves, conspiracy theories, and whether surviving really counts as thriving.
If you've ever had one of those weeks where you're just trying to keep your head above water while still finding reasons to laugh, this episode is for you.
Thanks for hanging out with us. We hope you leave feeling a little less alone.
Don't be afraid to be great.

You asked. We answered.
In this Ask Me Anything episode, we're completely unscripted and answering questions about everything from grief, healing, divorce, incarceration, burnout, and vulnerability to irrational fears, zombie apocalypses, AI fruit, and who would accidentally start a cult.
Some answers made us laugh. Some caught us off guard. A few got a little more emotional than we expected.
If you've ever wanted to know more about who we are beyond the podcast, this is probably the closest you'll get.
As always, thanks for hanging out with us and laughing through the chaos. 💜

Ever wonder how one conversation can include homicidal cats, ADHD medication, workplace expectations, hummingbirds, giant moths, and whether Colorado's sun is personally out to get us?
Same.
This week we're sharing stories about realistic medication dreams, the chaos our pets create when left unattended, why adulting isn't what anyone promised, and how different generations approach work, interviews, and career expectations. Along the way, we somehow end up discussing mental health, personal growth, vacation guilt, and why nobody prepared us for how weird adulthood actually is.
It's funny, honest, slightly unhinged...and somehow still meaningful.
If you've ever looked around your life and thought, "Is anyone else just making this up as they go?" ...welcome home.
🎙️ Laughing through the chaos, one dysfunctional conversation at a time.

Some seasons of life are loud.
Others are quiet, reflective, and full of tiny moments that slowly start changing everything.
This week we're talking about loneliness, evolving friendships, depression, building a support system, and the surprising discomfort that can come with being genuinely loved.
Chris opens up about realizing some friendships may no longer fit the person he's becoming, while Brittany shares her journey of reframing her 200 miles of summer into 200 opportunities to interrupt her depression.
We also dive into a question that challenged both of us:
If you had to live today on repeat for the rest of your life, would it be enough?
It's an honest conversation about growth, vulnerability, accepting support, and learning that maybe you don't always have to earn love to deserve it.
Because sometimes healing isn't becoming someone new.
Sometimes it's simply allowing yourself to be cared for.
🎙️ Welcome to Dysfunctionally Yours, where we laugh through the chaos while navigating the very real parts of being human.